


above the time

by poutyongs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, and they grow up together, but also i find this weirdly sad??, but shown in each of their perspectives and how they view the other, jeno and jaemin are childhood friends, this is basically a timeline of their lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:55:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21998569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poutyongs/pseuds/poutyongs
Summary: It’s funny, really. They were in love this entire time, but neither of them had realized it until now.Or, alternatively, Jeno is Jaemin's sun and Jaemin is Jeno's universe. They grew up together, and they loved each other the whole time.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 77





	above the time

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i know this fic is really text heavy with not a lot of conversation, but i thought it would be interesting to play the same scenes in two different perspectives and try to lead a story with mostly just thoughts.  
> i really hope you enjoy, and thank you for reading! ;__; <3  
> \+ some songs that i listened to while writing this fic in case any of you want to listen: you were good to me (jeremy zucker, chelsea cutler), can you see my heart (heize), universe (exo), I.L.Y. (the rose), i would (day6), it was love (block B), hug (seventeen), and downpour (IOI)

Jaemin was eight years old when he first saw Jeno. He automatically decided he didn’t like him as he watched Jeno from the sidelines, his arm stretched out above him, a rare Pokemon card nestled between his small fingers. _What a snob,_ he thought, turning away. He hated people that had a lot of friends; always in the center of attention, always loved. 

Jaemin was 12 years old when he first talked to Jeno. It was the first day of middle school, and Jaemin was walking through the hall after escaping some icebreakers when he ran into Jeno. Jeno recognized him. _Hey, you went to the same elementary school as me, right?_ Jaemin had scowled in the inside, wanting nothing to do with people of his sort. And then Jeno complained about how much of a waste of time icebreakers were, and the two ended up spending the rest of the day together, hiding away from the view of teachers and older students. They hid in the washroom at one point, giggling and shushing each other, and Jaemin realized that he was now just like everyone else: captivated by Lee Jeno. 

Jaemin was 13 years old when Jeno defended him. Someone in their class had their lunch money stolen from them during recess, and for some reason, the blame was targeted towards Jaemin. It was probably due to the fact that Jaemin had a reputation for being cold, his expression stern all the time, his outwardly behaviour unfriendly. Jaemin had denied it, but their teacher was still doubtful, and it wasn’t until Jeno angrily yelled that _Jaemin has been with me all recess_ that the suspicions died down. Because everyone believed Jeno, and no one but Jeno believed Jaemin. 

Jaemin was 14 years old when he decided to go to the same high school as Jeno. There wasn’t much meaning behind it - he didn’t really care anyway, and Jeno was his only friend. _I’m going to the same school as you,_ he had abruptly let out one day during lunch, Jeno almost choking on his sandwich, and Jaemin will never be able to forget the way Jeno had immediately embraced him in a warm hug. It was full of love, feverishly warm, and Jaemin felt dizzy. When Jeno pulled back, that was the first time Jaemin took in his facial features one by one. Were his eyelashes always this long? 

Jaemin was 18 years old when he received his acceptance letter at the same time as Jeno. Jeno had almost fallen out of his chair, jumping up and clapping his hands over his mouth, as Jaemin stared at the screen. _We have to celebrate,_ Jeno had declared, pulling Jaemin up from his chair and dragging him to a nearby bakery. They ordered a cake, the words _J &J FOREVER _scrawled on top of it with pink icing, and they walked to the nearest park. It was empty and secluded, an overcast day, but when the two sat on the grass and pulled out the cake, Jaemin thought that it was the most gorgeous day he had ever lived in. There were so many clouds hanging over them that it felt like they were in a fairytale, the two of them sitting on the grass with an overly sweet cake in between them, but the clouds seemed to part automatically when Jeno flashed a smile. He was Jaemin’s sun. 

Jaemin was 20 years old when Jeno got his first girlfriend. He had sheepishly brought up the topic while they were grabbing lunch, and Jaemin had almost dropped his bagel. _Is she cute?_ Jaemin had asked as Jeno shyly pulled up a photo of them together. It was a selfie, the two smiling brightly, and Jaemin suddenly didn’t want to eat the rest of his lunch anymore. _She’s not even that cute,_ he muttered, looking away, and when Jeno ignored him and continued scrolling through several photos of her with a soft smile plastered on his face, Jaemin felt something rise inside of him like boiling water.

He got drunk for the first time that night. Although he had been legal for a year, he wasn’t fond of alcohol, and neither was Jeno - they had jokingly made a pact before that they wouldn’t ever get drunk without each other. But Jaemin went and got drunk with his club members, and when he was sober again, Jeno was next to him, an unreadable expression on his face. Jeno broke up with his girlfriend a couple weeks later. 

Jaemin was 21 years old when Jeno got hurt during a soccer match. He was in the middle of a lecture, lazily scribbling down notes when he got the text. He had immediately ran out, ignoring the dirty looks shot at him from his peers and the professor. He could barely breathe when he reached the hospital, his mind swimming with worry. And when he burst open the doors to Jeno smiling at him casually, his left leg in a shining white cast, Jaemin couldn’t decide whether he felt angry or relieved. _Why are you mad?_ Jeno had asked in surprise as Jaemin walked up to him. _You should’ve been more careful,_ he had said sternly, Jeno blinking up at him in confusion. _You could’ve been badly hurt._ Jeno had simply laughed at that, mouthing the words _it’s just soccer, Jaemin,_ but Jaemin felt uneasy for the rest of the year. When Jeno recovered, he started skipping his lectures to watch Jeno at soccer practice, always sitting at the top of the bleachers with a hat pulled on. He didn’t want Jeno to find out, and he wants to believe that he never did. 

Jaemin was 22 years old when he graduated. He had walked across the stage, tenderly receiving his diploma, and he was in awe at how everything was over _._ Truly and somewhat underwhelmingly, everything was over. Walking across campus with Jeno was over. Grabbing lunch with Jeno was over. Seeing Jeno every day was over. After the ceremony, he stood side-by-side with Jeno, their parents snapping quick photos of them in their gowns. It was a breezy spring afternoon, soft flowers lighting up campus, and when Jaemin glanced at Jeno in the middle of their photoshoot, his newly-dyed blonde hair fluttering gently while reflecting the rays of the sun, it reminded him of the day he had sat at the park with him when they were 18 years old, a giant cake for them to share. Jeno had always been his sun, but now, he was too blinding that it almost hurt to look at him. 

Jaemin is 25 years old. He’s just finished a day at work, the time roughly nearing 5 pm, and he’s already packed up his stuff inside his bag so that he can leave as soon as possible. When the second hand hits 12, Jaemin is out of his office, constructing a plan of what he’s going to do once he gets home. He thinks he’ll take a nice, hot shower, and maybe cook something nice for himself, especially since the weather is so gloomy today. But his plans are ruined, because once he gets off the elevator, he sees Jeno, and he’s breathtaking as always. His sun is back. 

* * *

Jeno was eight years old when he first saw Jaemin. He had been flaunting his rare Pokemon card, the one he won rightfully from Renjun during their battle yesterday, when he noticed a pair of black eyes staring directly at him. As soon as he returned the look, though, the other boy turned away, and Jeno recognized him as Na Jaemin. He thought about calling him over, because _who doesn’t enjoy Pokemon cards_ , but when he got up from his lonely seat on the bench and walked away, Jeno realized he lost his chance. _Oh well,_ he shrugged as he returned to entertaining his group of friends, _there’s always a next time._

Jeno was 12 years old when he first talked to Jaemin. He successfully escaped the awful icebreaker games his group was playing, and he had been wandering down the hall in search of a water fountain, when he spotted another boy. He could recognize those pair of eyes anywhere. They were the same as the day he had been looking at him: deep and solemn but with a soft twinkle inside. He called to him, thinking that this was the opportunity to finally befriend him, and complained about icebreakers. Soon enough, they were zooming through the school, in search of hiding places and exploring classrooms, their breaths hitched and laughter tumbling out of their throats. Jaemin had layers of personality buried underneath his silent appearance, and Jeno decided that he was going to become best friends with him. 

Jeno was 13 years old when Jaemin got blamed for stealing. It was infuriating, the way the blame was placed on Jaemin with absolutely no reason, and when Jeno yelled out the truth, he was surprised at himself. He quickly sat back down, afraid that no one would believe him like no one was believing Jaemin, but when their teacher nodded in response and told Jeno that she believed him, he wasn’t sure whether to feel happy or distressed. Because everyone believed him, but no one other than him believed in Jaemin. 

Jeno was 14 years old when Jaemin told him he was going to the same high school as him. Jeno had wrapped his arms around him in joy, overcome with such pure happiness that he thought he could explode. He pulled back, smiling wide, and when he made eye contact with Jaemin and felt a nervous tingling inside his stomach, he dismissed it as excitement for their upcoming adventures together. 

Jeno was 18 years old when he received his acceptance letter at the same time as Jaemin. He had to stop himself from screaming out loud, his hands clapped over his mouth, when he spontaneously decided that they needed to make this day unforgettable. His mother had always told him to treasure the precious moments, to mark it with something so monumental that it would be impossible for it to escape his mind. To think about it as a small, floating boat that, when set free onto the gentle ocean waves, would come sailing back one day in the future when least expecting it. He sat at the park with Jaemin, a cake way too large for two people in the middle, and he realized that this was the little boat. Jaemin was looking down, his eyelashes fanning across his softly flushed cheeks and his hair pushed back, and when he looked up and smiled at Jeno, it felt as if the world had froze for a split second. The weather was gloomy, the cake too sweet and the grass a bit uncomfortable, but Jeno thought that this was paradise as he knew it. 

Jeno was 20 years old when he got his first girlfriend. He didn’t really know how it happened, but before he knew it, he was dating this girl he got to know through one of his lectures. She was nice and cute, a good-natured person, and although Jeno had never felt strongly for her, he thought that she was someone who he could settle for. Coincidentally, this was also when one of his closest friends, Renjun, confessed to him that he liked Jaemin. Renjun asked him if he could introduce him, and Jeno, dismissing the unfamiliar twisting feeling building up inside of him, had agreed. It never happened. Jeno texted Jaemin that evening, asking him if he was free the next day, and he didn’t get a response for over three hours. He suspected something was off, and when he got a call from an unknown number, a frustrated voice on the other end telling him that his stupid friend, Na Jaemin, was blackout drunk, Jeno’s legs had moved faster than he could process. He felt a tinge of betrayal, but he was mostly worried, and when he safely brought Jaemin back to his house, he tiredly placed him on his couch before sitting down next to him. It was 3 am, the world pitch black, and Jeno stepped outside onto the balcony. He looked up at the sky, admiring the stars that were embedded into the dark background like dainty decorations; or, he noticed as Jaemin blinked and looked up at him the next morning, like Na Jaemin’s eyes. One night, when Jeno was walking his girlfriend home, she had leaned in to kiss him, and he instinctively stepped back. Her face had morphed into that of confusion and hurt, and Jeno had hastily tried to explain his actions, but he came out empty handed. What could he have even told her? 

Jeno was 21 years old when he got hurt on the field. The initial pain was excruciating, his left leg feeling like it was getting torn apart, but before he knew it, he was lying in the hospital. He examined his cast, a shiny white, when someone barged in through the doors. Jaemin was standing there, catching his breath, and Jeno would have laughed at the way his hair was an absolute mess if he didn’t have such a serious expression on his face. Jaemin had marched up to him, his brows furrowed, and for the first time in Jeno’s life, he realized that Jaemin was _mad_ . He had looked up at him in confusion, but when Jaemin spilled out the words _you should’ve been more careful_ , he felt his worries dissipate instantly. He didn’t understand what Jaemin was so riled up over, because it really wasn’t that big of a deal; he had just laughed it off, but he didn’t fail to notice the way Jaemin’s expression stayed the same way throughout the whole visit. Ever since that day, someone started showing up to their practices religiously. Jeno’s teammates had asked him if it was anyone he knew, but he couldn’t recognize them from so far away, and all his friends had a lecture during that time. He joked around soon after that, telling them that it was his guardian angel making sure he didn’t get hurt again. 

Jeno was 22 years old when he graduated. He sat down at the front after receiving his diploma, watching the students after him all walk across the stage one by one. Then, Jaemin was called up, and when he left the stage, Jeno let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’s been holding. The Jaemin on stage was different. He was much more serious, wearing a cold expression, unlike the soft looks he gave Jeno when it was just the two of them. That was when Jeno realized this would be the last day he would see that gaze every day. When the ceremony ended and he was standing next to Jaemin for photos, he noticed Jaemin turn around to look at him right when the camera shutter went off. _That would be an interesting photo,_ Jeno thought as he gave Jaemin a questioning look. Except, when he had turned around to face him, the look on Jaemin’s face was indecipherable. His eyes were firm but gentle, holding the same look as the day they sat at the park with the cake in between them. As if a switch was activated, all of a sudden that day came flooding back, just like his mother had said - the boat was back from its trip, riding the waves and washing up on shore unexpectedly. And then Jeno understood what Jaemin was to him. He was his universe; the stars he saw from the balcony that night when they were 20 years old. 

Jeno is 25 years old. He’s sitting on a couch in the lobby of the building where Jaemin works, and he feels weirdly nervous but calm at the same time. This is the first time he’s seeing Jaemin in three years, and he isn’t sure if he’s even allowed to do this, or if he’s even welcome here. He fidgets with his sleeve, patiently eyeing the clock, and all of a sudden his name is called. When he turns around, his heart stopping, his universe is back. 

It’s always been his eyes. From the very beginning when they were eight years old to the very end when they were standing together amongst the spring breeze, Jeno knows that it’s always been his eyes. His eyes are dark but filled with affection, a million stars residing inside of them, and when he looks at him the way he did his whole life, Jeno now fully understands that he has only ever looked at him like that. It's always been Na Jaemin's eyes. And, at the same time, he comprehends something. 

It’s funny, really. They were in love this entire time, but neither of them had realized it until now. 


End file.
